FEELING Productive After Marriage

I am married for the past 3 years as of February 2016 and I must say its taken its rough sail too, not all that smooth all along! However, I have managed to always, always stop and gather myself and literally place myself upright – thinking soundly and making the right decisions all along! Alhamdhulillah for that! Apart from thanking God I must thank my MOM who has always been by my side with her experienced reasoning for better decision making in general. She is also that one person who motivates me all the way!

Now coming to the topic. If we think of those aspects in life that we have given up after marriage , they vary from person to person. Marriage is something that brings inevitable changes in ones life, not all of which can be pleasant. However, life is all about that! CHANGES! MARRIED or NOT!

Generally speaking, feeling productive in one’s life carries more significance than actually being productive. Its important how we see things and feel about what we do. In my case i had to give up my job at a juncture for an inevitable reason – my pregnancy and the extremely excruciating symptoms I experienced due to that. My job involved interviewing people and I had to meet at least 10 new individuals each day! It did not seem possible for me at that time and I gave up my job to bring a better happiness in to our life – our child! It sure is worth it and it became important for me to FEEL productive ever since.

I made sure I did not lie there doing nothing but going through my nausea, gastritis and what not. I did not just want to remember my pregnancy as 9 months of unpleasantness (considering the fact I went through 16 symptoms throughout the 9 month period 🙂 ). Hence, I decided to equip myself with the knowledge I needed for child birth and care henceforth. Just 40 days after birth I was all by myself with my son and husband and I took over like I had never dreamt of (like a pro 😉 ). I knew not even to swaddle or hold a new born and I was suddenly doing everything right, at least what i decided to be RIGHT!. Now here comes the FEELING factor. I was so thankful I could raise my son by myself. this way I had nobody to comment or compare! I felt ‘right’ as long as the child was not in pain, hunger, thirst or in need for love! I made sure I kept these under tick! I felt so content and happy on how I brought him up until now. It was all my self read knowledge, self taught skills, self paced nurturing. It becomes so much better of  a feeling! I would say it is better than graduating as a Psychologist! HAHA!

Now for you to ponder over, here are my 9 Rules on HOW TO FEEL PRODUCTIVE after marriage based on real life experience:

1. Do not compare your life with another!
2. Take advice from elders (listen for real, since there might be several things that might have not occurred to you) BUT always make the final decision YOURS! [I’ve always stood by this rule]
3. Be self motivated. Appreciate yourself for your endeavors
4. Do not place your happiness over other people / external. As much as intrinsic motivation would help, intrinsic happiness does too.
5. Gear yourself up with the required knowledge for the challenge you are looking forward to face. (I always made sure I was prepared, at least i tried my best to be self informed! 🙂 If you know what i mean?)
6. Know Who you are, What you are and What you can become! (Here is where you set your priorities and place your time and trust on them)
7. Stay calm at despair and always give some time to gather yourself up and focus on WHATS NEXT!
8. Have your own way of dealing with stress. It is not a sin to take time off child care! Slap those who make you feel guilty and…FINALLY #9
9. Go for whatever that makes you and your family HAPPY!

-Love

Hiba Z